In One Year...

I am writing this blog purely for myself, but if it encourages you to write one for yourself too, then by all means, read it and be encouraged.

I find myself in an interesting season recently. One where I'm pretty much locked in where I am, doing what I am, probably for the next year or so. In that year though, I have decided that I want to have some things accomplished in my life. I don't want it to slip by, and then come September 20th, 2011, and I have not accomplished anything significant. Therefore, I'm setting forth goals for myself that I can look back on one year from this blog, and check off whether or not I've accomplished them. I'm doing this to push myself forward, and discipline myself, and make the best use of all of my time. I encourage you to do something similar; make a blog like this one, so that you can be accountable to all your readers in a year in whether or not you've accomplished your own goals. So, here they are:

1. One year from now I want to be completely and totally debt free. I actually plan on being debt free before the end of this year, if it's possible, but that's in God's hands.
2. One year from now, I want to have my photography business completely sustaining me and bringing in regular income. And if I continue in diligence with it, and with the Lord's blessing, I know that it will get there.
3. One year from now, I want to be so disciplined in the Word and spending my time with God, that I will not give it up for anything. Where I spend that one hour with God, every day, eating the scroll and praying and worshiping Him in the secret place. I want to be so jealous for this; destroying the apathy and laziness I currently see in my heart.
4. One year from now, I want to have built a regular workout schedule, where I'm running at least once a day, staying fit and in shape, and taking care of the temple that I've been blessed with.
5. One year from now, I want to have disciplined myself in practicing and getting better at the guitar, so that I can have an additional weapon of warfare against the enemy, and an additional tool in my belt for worshiping my Lord with.

One year from now, I don't want to be where I am. I want to have used this time wisely, rather than let it slip away through my fingers. Time is the most valuable thing we have on this side of eternity, and I want to push myself, especially while I'm young, to go after these things and pursue God to my fullest, and everything that He's called me to. I know my life calling, and I want to get there as soon as God will release me, but first I realize that I need to discipline my flesh and my heart to go after the deep things of God. Once I have this foundational cement poured, dried, and sealed, then maybe, just maybe, I'll be ready for what God has for me. Selah.

Want and Need

There's an old poem out there called the "Prayer of an Unknown Confederate Soldier" that goes like this:

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve, I was

made weak, that I might humbly obey.

I asked for health, that I might do greater things, I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.

I asked for riches, that I might be happy, I was given poverty,

that I might be wise.

I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men, I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.

I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life, I was given life,

that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I had hoped for.

Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.

I am among all men, most richly blessed.

I, being part of the human race, constantly ask God for things. Whether it be something I feel that I need, or something I feel I deserve, or something I just want, or just out of my own selfishness. We're always asking God for things, legitimately and otherwise. But more times than not, what we ask for is not what we get. I have a million circumstances in my life at any given time that I wish God would come change. I ask God for a blessing in finances, and I seem to slip further into debt. Why? Because, He's teaching me how to be faithful with what I have. I ask God for a great job, and He gives me a blessing in disguise: I got hired at Panera Bread. It was a humbling experience for me, because it wasn't what I wanted, but it's exactly what I needed right now in this season, and God is using me there now to reach out to coworkers and customers. And here's a big one that I always ask God for and He always seems silent on: A wife. God knows what I want, but more than that, He knows exactly what I need, and He's gracious enough to protect me from my desires until the right season in which I'm ready for that blessing to come upon me. So He's preparing me, making me ready. Making me ready for ministry, for my calling, for my wife, and everything He has for me. And in the end, I'll get what I asked for. It'll just be in a way I didn't expect, and it'll be far better than I could ever imagine. And it's worth it.

So if you ever find yourself not getting what you asked for, don't be disappointed. God's not some far off stoic being in outer space who doesn't care about you. He knows you more than you do, and He knows what you can take in every season. There's a time for every purpose under Heaven, as one of my favorite authors in the Bible writes (King Solomon, in Ecclesiastes), and at the appointed time He will unleash the blessings He has for you, and the answered prayers you've been waiting for. Your spouse is coming. Your baby is coming. Your finances will be taken care of. Your healing is on it's way. He's a good dad, and when you ask for a fish He will NOT give you a rock. He holds the entire universe between His fingers, but He chose YOU as His temple and dwelling place. Is there no greater honor under the Heavens? He is the Author of Creation, and yet He chose to BECOME His creation and take on our flesh. Why would He do such a thing if He didn't care about you?

The bottom line is this: God is worthy of our everything, whether He answers our prayers or not. But the good news is, He answers prayers anyway.