God is so faithful, and it is so good to see things being fulfilled and renewed, and restoration taking place where it needs to most.
I thank God for such a wonderful Christmas. Waking up with presents all around and smiling faces of my family, all together again for the holidays, as we sit around the Christmas tree and pass around our gifts; we all really went all out this year. But today I received a few very special gifts:
I saw the smiling face of my mother as she was so happy that Rob and Josh and I cleaned up the house late last night to surprise her in the morning.
I saw restoration in my brother-in-law, and still see it coming about. He is changing back, or moving forward, whichever you wish to call it, into who he was and who he is supposed to be. There has been a shift in the natural realm as his marriage has been restored and he has improved in relationships with me and others. Now I am awaiting the spiritual shift to occur, and I got what I asked for from him for Christmas: He's coming down to Kansas City for Onething, which is a huge prayer answered after interceding and praying for him for the past few months as he's endured hardships and trials. Now I only pray that he allow God to show up to him on the heart level and allow himself to be transformed completely at this conference. God wants to, He's been waiting for a very long time, being merciful and patient, and He's just waiting for Rob to say yes.
I saw improved relationships between me and my siblings and cousins and aunt as well, we've all grown apart as we experience life in our own ways, but this Christmas season we've come closer together. I felt genuine hugs and had real conversations with many of them, and it's nice to see we're all actually growing up.
I saw my grandparents being their same old selves, yet getting older, and found I had to cherish what I had with them, as they might not be around much longer.
I see people changing and being changed, and I see God's will being done in many lives. There are many more things we must allow Him to do in our lives for us to be completely transformed, but as a flower slowly blooms, so we are slowly opening up and revealing the true colors and nature that God has called us all too.
As I prepare to go back down to Kansas City, I look forward to even more transformation in my next semester. Some say what I'm doing isn't smart. Going to an non-accredited college for a piece of paper that means nothing in the world's eyes. But I don't have my eye on that. I'm receiving training for whatever other missions in life that God will call me to. I'm learning more than I have learned in my entire life about God, and being transformed by His love and power twenty-four/seven in an ever-growing prayer room. I may not have a steady job right now making lots of money to prepare for a future, but I serve God Himself, and last I checked He owns every penny on this earth, and I think that's enough for me. I don't have the funds for my next semester yet, not sufficient enough (I need $1500 to cover it, and it's due January 4th). I don't know how, and I don't know from where, but I do know this: God is my provider, and wherever that money comes from I will leave in His hands, because I know that He will provide. I know of miraculous finances coming out of nowhere literally, and I have not a single doubt in my mind that my Lord and Savior, Jehovah Jireh can provide a small sum such as I need.
It truly has been a wonderful Christmas, and I await just one more gift by the Lord that He's promised me, since the others are already coming or have come already, and I will put my total trust in Him for this gift as well. He will do as He has planned. Not a rock is turned nor a single thing done without the knowledge of the living, breathing, creating God, and He will bring all things to pass that He has prepared for His son.
I pray that everyone has had as good of a Christmas as I have this year, as I reflect and thank Jesus for all that He's done in my life, even in just this past six months or so. From transformation to revelation, revelation to proclamation, proclamation to acclamation, and acclamation to restoration..... Our God is a living flame, a consuming fire, and He is dazzling in beauty and rage, fire and water, jasper and sardius. He is altogether lovely, and He loves to bless His children.
Lord, rain down your blessings on your children, bring transformation, bring restoration, bring your fire, bring your Holy Spirit, bring your rain, bring your peace, bring your rage, bring justice and bring mercy; come restore your people as we wait for you as a lovesick people for their bridegroom, in Jesus' name, bring restoration (to my brother-in-law, to my sister, to my other sister, to both of my wonderful cousins, to my uncle, to my family). Amen.
Jarrod
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
The Journey of a Boy
Four months and one day ago, a boy set out on a journey to discover himself. He traveled to a faraway place, and left his family, friends, church, job, and previous life behind in Michigan. On that day in the early August wind, when he saw his family drive away, leaving him in the dust in Kansas City, he felt abandoned, lost, confused. He had no one. He was a boy lost among strangers, being forced to adapt to a new way of life, and questioning whether or not this was the right decision all along.
The boy found himself living with new people, five roommates, and learning a new way of life away from home. He quickly realized he could no longer rely on his mother's home cooking or the chores around the house to just take care of themselves. He grew closer to them, and had to grow up quickly to adapt to their lifestyles, and to his own new lifestyle. But it was a good change, one that he needed to wake up to and realize.
The boy found himself in a new vibrant and much larger city, where the shuffle of people's lives was a bit faster. He found himself by big buildings and hundreds of coffee shops, fountains everywhere, and shopping malls galore.
But more importantly, a little bit further away from all the Kansas City shuffle, he found a community of people where he would later find that he belonged to. He found a small prayer room, ever-growing bigger, where people truly were connected to God. He found new friends that weren't involved with the things of this world, yes, they were pure and set aside and actually knew God. They didn't put on the facade of loving God only to not live it out later and betray him. The boy connected with them and instantly made lifelong friends. It grew into late nights where only one thing mattered: Seeking out the very heart of God together and crying out in the Holy Spirit for more of God, groaning and crying over the lost loved ones, remembering their lives before they truly knew God, remembering how Christ took away the pain, the hurt, the crying, the shame, and restored them completely. They found themselves confused at first, but quickly learned and grew in the Lord, and became strong accountability partners, best friends, lovers of God, and some of them even lovers.
The boy, having had to trust in God for everything, realized there was so much more to life than the ordinary things in life. He was transformed by God's fire and glory, and changed into the person he was supposed to be all along but hadn't realized it. He had been afraid to grow up back home, unable to, with so many preventions in his own life and mind. But now he found himself among new faces, new friends, a new home, a new community, a new way of looking at life itself, and many many new ways of worshipping and praising God. And, being lifted up in all of these, the boy changed....
He grew up into a man. A young man, still learning, still searching out God, still experiencing new things every day. But now there is a difference: He knows his purpose, he knows what he was created for. He knows his occupation, his career, his lifestyle. He knows who he is, and has found his identity, his personality, and God's will for his life. The enemy has no power over him anymore, nothing to turn him back into the boy he once was, his mind has been turned completely around, in a way that can't be turned back. He knows so much more now... He knows of the terrible things to come, the awesome things to come, the new life, the old life passing away, the Kingdom.... And eternity.
The boy became a man, and the man knows his purpose: To seek the heart of God. Nothing more and nothing less, it is all defined in that alone. The praying, the interceding, the crying, the laughing, the joy, the sadness, the groaning, the pain and the anger, the suffering, the trust, the faith, and the love...... He is an intercessor, a prayer, a single thread in a tapestry of God's kingdom of people that are to be raised up in the latter days to walk in the ancient paths and cry out for the living God! He will have NOTHING less than the double portion that God has assigned to him!
The man's journey is not over, though. And who knows what will happen to him next? What new transformation will take place next? Where God will lead him? What new levels of His glory will be revealed to him? Well, that's in God's hands, and will come about in His timing.... Until then, he knows what He's been called to, and the journey continues..........
The boy found himself living with new people, five roommates, and learning a new way of life away from home. He quickly realized he could no longer rely on his mother's home cooking or the chores around the house to just take care of themselves. He grew closer to them, and had to grow up quickly to adapt to their lifestyles, and to his own new lifestyle. But it was a good change, one that he needed to wake up to and realize.
The boy found himself in a new vibrant and much larger city, where the shuffle of people's lives was a bit faster. He found himself by big buildings and hundreds of coffee shops, fountains everywhere, and shopping malls galore.
But more importantly, a little bit further away from all the Kansas City shuffle, he found a community of people where he would later find that he belonged to. He found a small prayer room, ever-growing bigger, where people truly were connected to God. He found new friends that weren't involved with the things of this world, yes, they were pure and set aside and actually knew God. They didn't put on the facade of loving God only to not live it out later and betray him. The boy connected with them and instantly made lifelong friends. It grew into late nights where only one thing mattered: Seeking out the very heart of God together and crying out in the Holy Spirit for more of God, groaning and crying over the lost loved ones, remembering their lives before they truly knew God, remembering how Christ took away the pain, the hurt, the crying, the shame, and restored them completely. They found themselves confused at first, but quickly learned and grew in the Lord, and became strong accountability partners, best friends, lovers of God, and some of them even lovers.
The boy, having had to trust in God for everything, realized there was so much more to life than the ordinary things in life. He was transformed by God's fire and glory, and changed into the person he was supposed to be all along but hadn't realized it. He had been afraid to grow up back home, unable to, with so many preventions in his own life and mind. But now he found himself among new faces, new friends, a new home, a new community, a new way of looking at life itself, and many many new ways of worshipping and praising God. And, being lifted up in all of these, the boy changed....
He grew up into a man. A young man, still learning, still searching out God, still experiencing new things every day. But now there is a difference: He knows his purpose, he knows what he was created for. He knows his occupation, his career, his lifestyle. He knows who he is, and has found his identity, his personality, and God's will for his life. The enemy has no power over him anymore, nothing to turn him back into the boy he once was, his mind has been turned completely around, in a way that can't be turned back. He knows so much more now... He knows of the terrible things to come, the awesome things to come, the new life, the old life passing away, the Kingdom.... And eternity.
The boy became a man, and the man knows his purpose: To seek the heart of God. Nothing more and nothing less, it is all defined in that alone. The praying, the interceding, the crying, the laughing, the joy, the sadness, the groaning, the pain and the anger, the suffering, the trust, the faith, and the love...... He is an intercessor, a prayer, a single thread in a tapestry of God's kingdom of people that are to be raised up in the latter days to walk in the ancient paths and cry out for the living God! He will have NOTHING less than the double portion that God has assigned to him!
The man's journey is not over, though. And who knows what will happen to him next? What new transformation will take place next? Where God will lead him? What new levels of His glory will be revealed to him? Well, that's in God's hands, and will come about in His timing.... Until then, he knows what He's been called to, and the journey continues..........
Monday, December 3, 2007
Not Single Anymore
Recently, a number of my friends down here started dating / courting and growing in relationships. At first I was happy for them. Then I was disgusted and sick of them. All the holding hands and being close and loving on each other and giving to each other, I was so jealous! God knew my heart, and He knew what my desires were, yet I was seeing it fulfilled in other peoples' lives, not my own! I got angry and sad and miserable. Not to mention, besides all of that, I was way behind on my homework, and my stress level was about as high as it could go. I couldn't even enter in to the presence of God while sitting in the prayer room - I was either thinking about relationships or homework, and couldn't focus on anything.
This past week I had a huge breakthrough of God as the bridegroom. In one of our many Holy-Spirit filled nights at my friend's house, God called me away to a quiet room of the house, where I found myself in a new area of God's mercy and love. I cried out to God, asking for Him to change my desires, to change my heart and let it focus on Him. I found myself literally groaning in the Spirit, in a new level of intimacy with Christ. I knew that God knew what I truly wanted, but in order for me to focus on Him right now, He had to go in and do some open heart surgery, and change many things around. I had to ask forgiveness in upholding a future relationship with someone here on earth over the relationship I had with Christ my bridegroom and savior. He knows that I long to be a father one day with beautiful little daughters that I can pour out my love on as He pours out His fatherly love on me. He knows that one day I long to be in marriage to a beautiful bride to portray how I am to be married to Him and pour my love out on her as He does on me. However, right now I've finally realized, He wants me to fully grasp and fully take hold of both the father-hood love He gives me, and the bridegroom reality of love that He gives me. I've taken that so much for granted, or haven't even fully realized it, and I know now He wants me to grow deeper in that and fully grasp it before He grants me the desires of my heart. Until then, my desires have been changed, and I long for my Father and my Bride, my God and my Savior, Jesus Christ. So that's right, I'm no longer single anymore, I'm going out with Jesus, and not worrying about the things of this world. God might be calling me for five years, ten years, even the rest of my life, and I have to trust in Him that He will be my provider, and He will take care of me.
In other news, I'm in my last week of class, our semester ends this Friday the 7th. I've been stressing over homework the past couple weeks, cramming to get everything in on time. I'll be happy to come home for Christmas break and not have to worry about homework, and will enjoy spending some time drinking hot-cocoa, reading some good books, playing guitar, and spending time with Jesus and the family. Bless you all.
~ Jarrod
This past week I had a huge breakthrough of God as the bridegroom. In one of our many Holy-Spirit filled nights at my friend's house, God called me away to a quiet room of the house, where I found myself in a new area of God's mercy and love. I cried out to God, asking for Him to change my desires, to change my heart and let it focus on Him. I found myself literally groaning in the Spirit, in a new level of intimacy with Christ. I knew that God knew what I truly wanted, but in order for me to focus on Him right now, He had to go in and do some open heart surgery, and change many things around. I had to ask forgiveness in upholding a future relationship with someone here on earth over the relationship I had with Christ my bridegroom and savior. He knows that I long to be a father one day with beautiful little daughters that I can pour out my love on as He pours out His fatherly love on me. He knows that one day I long to be in marriage to a beautiful bride to portray how I am to be married to Him and pour my love out on her as He does on me. However, right now I've finally realized, He wants me to fully grasp and fully take hold of both the father-hood love He gives me, and the bridegroom reality of love that He gives me. I've taken that so much for granted, or haven't even fully realized it, and I know now He wants me to grow deeper in that and fully grasp it before He grants me the desires of my heart. Until then, my desires have been changed, and I long for my Father and my Bride, my God and my Savior, Jesus Christ. So that's right, I'm no longer single anymore, I'm going out with Jesus, and not worrying about the things of this world. God might be calling me for five years, ten years, even the rest of my life, and I have to trust in Him that He will be my provider, and He will take care of me.
In other news, I'm in my last week of class, our semester ends this Friday the 7th. I've been stressing over homework the past couple weeks, cramming to get everything in on time. I'll be happy to come home for Christmas break and not have to worry about homework, and will enjoy spending some time drinking hot-cocoa, reading some good books, playing guitar, and spending time with Jesus and the family. Bless you all.
~ Jarrod
Friday, November 30, 2007
Henceforth
I have decided that Myspace is a futile attempt at a blogging site. I have been searching for a new website on which to portray my ramblings and thoughts and journals, and have landed that plane on Blogger, for the time being... At least until I break off the spirit of laziness and create my own website.
I've applied some of my favorite previous blogs on this site, and henceforth this is where all of my new blogs will be posted.
Enjoi.
~ Jarrod
Friday, November 16, 2007
Simply Peace
No other word can describe it, and yet, "peace" seems too simple and ordinary for how I am trying to express how I feel right now....well, let's see what the Dictionary has to say:
God has literally provided an "open Heaven" season for my life right now. I can feel this peace literally dripping off of my soul I am so saturated in it. If you had talked to me not even a year ago, I would have told you that I didn't like what I was going to college for. I hated that I was still living at home. I was depressed that I had so few actual heart-to-heart friends. I knew that what I was doing was not God's plan for my life, and that He had so much more for me. It is so awesome to know that where you're living, what you're doing, and everything you're going through (good and bad) is God's direct will over your life. I have not experienced so much peace in my entire life, it is so entirely amazing!
Just recently, He opened the opportunity for me to have a potential job at IHOP in the future, combining my graphic skills and my passion for God in an awesome combination. If this works out, He will also have provided an opportunity for me to switch over to FMA, and pursue Him musically. He has provided me an opportunity to receive guitar lessons for free by one of the coolest guys in the world (thanks, Drew!). He has shown up to me on new spiritual levels while speaking my prayer language to Him. While interceding for people, He has given me spiritual authority over different spiritual realms in my own life and others. He has brought me so many awesome and wonderful life-long friends. He has made me laugh at His sense of humor, smile at the amount of love He provides, cry at how much grace He has given me in my life, and stand in awe at the amount of power He gives to those who stand in meekness and submission to His Will.
He is my lover, my friend, my father, my bride, my savior. He gives and He takes away, and He shifts the seasons of our lives. He has all authority over satanic and demonic realms, no matter how bad the situation can seem. He is Jesus, the God of all Creation itself. Oh how I long to praise Him more and more, even in this corrupted, fallen body and mind..... I cannot wait to praise Him with a renewed, uncorrupted, fully-functioning mind and ressurrected body!
He looks like Jasper and Sardius, He gave His Blood and Water. Yes, He who has seen me has seen the Father!
Jesus is God. Amen.
~Jarrod
God has literally provided an "open Heaven" season for my life right now. I can feel this peace literally dripping off of my soul I am so saturated in it. If you had talked to me not even a year ago, I would have told you that I didn't like what I was going to college for. I hated that I was still living at home. I was depressed that I had so few actual heart-to-heart friends. I knew that what I was doing was not God's plan for my life, and that He had so much more for me. It is so awesome to know that where you're living, what you're doing, and everything you're going through (good and bad) is God's direct will over your life. I have not experienced so much peace in my entire life, it is so entirely amazing!
Just recently, He opened the opportunity for me to have a potential job at IHOP in the future, combining my graphic skills and my passion for God in an awesome combination. If this works out, He will also have provided an opportunity for me to switch over to FMA, and pursue Him musically. He has provided me an opportunity to receive guitar lessons for free by one of the coolest guys in the world (thanks, Drew!). He has shown up to me on new spiritual levels while speaking my prayer language to Him. While interceding for people, He has given me spiritual authority over different spiritual realms in my own life and others. He has brought me so many awesome and wonderful life-long friends. He has made me laugh at His sense of humor, smile at the amount of love He provides, cry at how much grace He has given me in my life, and stand in awe at the amount of power He gives to those who stand in meekness and submission to His Will.
He is my lover, my friend, my father, my bride, my savior. He gives and He takes away, and He shifts the seasons of our lives. He has all authority over satanic and demonic realms, no matter how bad the situation can seem. He is Jesus, the God of all Creation itself. Oh how I long to praise Him more and more, even in this corrupted, fallen body and mind..... I cannot wait to praise Him with a renewed, uncorrupted, fully-functioning mind and ressurrected body!
He looks like Jasper and Sardius, He gave His Blood and Water. Yes, He who has seen me has seen the Father!
Jesus is God. Amen.
~Jarrod
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Smack
Last night was probably the most meaninful prayer and worship experience I've had since my move to Kansas City - Actually, probably in my entire life.
Overwhelmed with homework piling up, and many other situations going on in my life right now, I walked back into the prayer room last night to Corey Asbury's set. It was pretty on fire right away, so I was worshipping with what oil in my lamp I had.
Tired eventually, and just as I was about to sit down and pull out my laptop to attempt to get some work done, I hear a ton of cracking up going on behind me. I turn around to see a huge mass of people dancing, in-sync to the music. The prayer room went in an uproar of dancing and singing and prophetic worshipping. I felt a tug to go back and join, and though I felt like it would be idiotic and I'd look like a complete retard doing it, I went anyway. I stumbled the first few times, trying to get in sync with everyone else, but I eventually caught on, and started having a blast.
The prophetic worship went on for who knows how long, and eventually, Corey started up the chorus, "No more shackles, no more chains, no more bondage I am FREE...." (with Matt Gillman singing "Where the spirit of the Lord is THERE IS FREEDOM"). Right about here is when I just absolutely broke LOOSE. God revealed a prophetic dancing and singing spirit to me, and I just broke free and worshipped Him, not caring about anyone around me (especially because almost the whole prayer room was feeling the same way!). God broke many chains and shackles last night, and I've never felt freer to worship Him! I'm pretty sure that was the biggest workout I've had in my entire life too (sorry, Garry ;).
The set ended in a huge uproar of laughter and dancing and jumping and high praises and shouts to God, I thought I was gonna lose my voice! Afterwards, I still hadn't gotten enough, so I went to a friends house and we broke loose in more worship and dancing and prophecy. Had some fun there too, and got to talking to one of my friends about what I'd been struggling with, and how God just totally set me free. He prayed with me and prophecied over me, and helped me to grow in this even more, and gave me some good ideas for meditating on the Word.
It was an absolutely fantastic finisher to a GBF, and the huge wall that I've smacked into recently was completely crumbled down last night. I'm free to worship Jesus, and if you can hear anyone in pain, it's probably Satan, since all the bricks from that big nasty wall just came hurtling at him. ;)
Peace and Love,
Jarrod
Overwhelmed with homework piling up, and many other situations going on in my life right now, I walked back into the prayer room last night to Corey Asbury's set. It was pretty on fire right away, so I was worshipping with what oil in my lamp I had.
Tired eventually, and just as I was about to sit down and pull out my laptop to attempt to get some work done, I hear a ton of cracking up going on behind me. I turn around to see a huge mass of people dancing, in-sync to the music. The prayer room went in an uproar of dancing and singing and prophetic worshipping. I felt a tug to go back and join, and though I felt like it would be idiotic and I'd look like a complete retard doing it, I went anyway. I stumbled the first few times, trying to get in sync with everyone else, but I eventually caught on, and started having a blast.
The prophetic worship went on for who knows how long, and eventually, Corey started up the chorus, "No more shackles, no more chains, no more bondage I am FREE...." (with Matt Gillman singing "Where the spirit of the Lord is THERE IS FREEDOM"). Right about here is when I just absolutely broke LOOSE. God revealed a prophetic dancing and singing spirit to me, and I just broke free and worshipped Him, not caring about anyone around me (especially because almost the whole prayer room was feeling the same way!). God broke many chains and shackles last night, and I've never felt freer to worship Him! I'm pretty sure that was the biggest workout I've had in my entire life too (sorry, Garry ;).
The set ended in a huge uproar of laughter and dancing and jumping and high praises and shouts to God, I thought I was gonna lose my voice! Afterwards, I still hadn't gotten enough, so I went to a friends house and we broke loose in more worship and dancing and prophecy. Had some fun there too, and got to talking to one of my friends about what I'd been struggling with, and how God just totally set me free. He prayed with me and prophecied over me, and helped me to grow in this even more, and gave me some good ideas for meditating on the Word.
It was an absolutely fantastic finisher to a GBF, and the huge wall that I've smacked into recently was completely crumbled down last night. I'm free to worship Jesus, and if you can hear anyone in pain, it's probably Satan, since all the bricks from that big nasty wall just came hurtling at him. ;)
Peace and Love,
Jarrod
Sunday, October 14, 2007
New Beginnings
Something defined as a "new beginning" only comes once in awhile in one's life. It is an opportunity to try something new, or to look at something old in a new way. A new beginning is a point in someone's life where they restart, revamp or redo something in their own personal life, to bring about changes in their future, and in their own way of thinking.
Today, excited to be back "home" in Kansas City, I pulled into IHOP ready to enter in to the prayer room. I parked next to a very interesting vehicle, though. It was a very old school bus, painted red, with beautifully made wood furnishings and designs in different parts of the windows and other areas. The doors on the bus were replaced with the beautiful wood designs and covers, and on top of the bus there was a big hump, like a smaller room, made out of the wood and designs as well. It was really strange to see, because the old metallic school bus greatly clashed with the beautiful wood furnishings on it, like the two weren't made to be together. I wish I had been able to take a picture, but sadly I do not own a camera (if anyone has an extra digital camera lying around, maybe God is calling you to bless me with it :). I could tell that someone lived in it, not just drove it. Peaking as far over the windows that I could, I didn't see any bus chairs or seats in there, but I couldn't really see that much.
Anyways, after inspecting the bus, I went into IHOP, and saw a couple outside the prayer room with a small child. Both of them had really long and beautiful dreads for hair, and you could tell that they had a "wilderness" or "separate world" look about them. I introduced myself to them and asked them if the bus was their's, and they said yes. It was really cool to look at them, and see the lifestyle that they live in, completely apart from this material world, living in the wilderness, away from politics and prejudice, laws and governments, rules and guidelines, expectations and fashions. I was struck in my heart seeing this small family, who seemed so far way from the rest of the world, yet so much closer to God! If a family like that entered into most of our modern-day church ministries, they would most likely be judged, shunned, or ridiculed. Seeing them gave me a desire in my heart, and changed something within me that I cannot fully explain. I found myself looking at my own life...looking at the fashion I was wearing, the hats, shoes, shirts and pants, the leather jackets and sunglasses, the computers and the ipods and everything else that I so clung onto as part of my identity, and found myself being disgusted! Why did I need to look like the rest of the world, to fit in to modern day fashions and styles? This man was in a raddy old unwashed pair of khakis and a t-shirt, and his wife was in a plain-colored simple long skirt and shirt. Their hair probably hadn't been washed in quite awhile, growing in dreads, and yet, they had such a cleanness around them at the same time, spiritually. I wanted that. I want to live that lifestyle, one of simplicity, one where people know who I am with no barriers in the way, one who knows his way around this earth and would step off into the wilderness and wild forests and places on his own, just to spend time with God, or to get away from the rest of this human-infested world. I found myself praying to God to live out that simple lifestyle, and the desire to do so. It was really neat.
This is kind-of a double blog. Those were some recent thoughts that have been on my mind today, and I wanted them written down. I just got back from a trip home yesterday, and to say the least, it was very interesting. I never knew how powerful a tool the prayer room was in my life until I found myself without it for a week and a half. I found it so much harder to set aside time for God during the day and get away from everyone else. Granted, I'm not saying that a prayer room is the only time you should be spending with God, or the only way too, because very few people in the nation have that kind of tool. I believe that setting aside time outside the prayer room with God is vastly important as well, and schedule in what I call "wilderness time" with God. It's basically where I go off somewhere away from everyone else (usually the forest or an open field or a lake) with just me, my guitar, my Bible, and my Lord, and spend time with Jesus. I would greatly encourage others to do the same, as it helps so much in growing with God, especially when you're away from all of these man-made things. Anyways, that was a little bunny trail, and another topic for another day. I had such peace when I arrived in KC yesterday, and was so happy to be back to what I consider "home" right now. Of course, it was awesome to be back in Kzoo for awhile, and see my friends and family, but at the same time I am at such peace where I'm at right now because I know for a fact that this is where God wants me right now in this phase of my life.
Going home was kind-of bittersweet for me. It was nice to see changes in some of my friends, seeing how much more they have grown in the Lord in my absense, and seeing what they are seeking after now as compared to two months ago. At the same time it was devestating to see other friends that have fallen further away from God in the past two months as opposed to growing in Him. I've also come to the conclusion on a very important thing: God doesn't always show the plans He has for someone concerning a certain area because once you know what He has planned, it sucks to see it not being fulfilled. I know this personally concerning my future, and also for friends and family of mine who are going through alot of crap right now. The situations seem absolutely impossible, and I don't have any idea how God is going to do it, but I know what He has planned, and I know the future concerning both of these issues, so I guess all I can do is continue to pray and continue to fast and continue to trust in the Lord.
Anyway, the point is, I'm glad to be back. And I feel that I'm entering in to a new season right now...I don't know what that's going to look like, but I think God has a few surprises for me throughout the second half of my first semester. I'm glad to be back, and ready to see what the God of my life has in store. Thanks, Jesus! :)
P.S. I hope to blog more of my thoughts and experiences soon, so expect another blog within the next week or two (I begin my new class with Dave Sliker tomorrow, on Eschatology...so that should be interesting :). Also, if you want to see when a new blog has been posted, add my blog to your subscription so that Myspace will inform you (that way I know who's taking the time to read these as well).
Peace and Joy.
Today, excited to be back "home" in Kansas City, I pulled into IHOP ready to enter in to the prayer room. I parked next to a very interesting vehicle, though. It was a very old school bus, painted red, with beautifully made wood furnishings and designs in different parts of the windows and other areas. The doors on the bus were replaced with the beautiful wood designs and covers, and on top of the bus there was a big hump, like a smaller room, made out of the wood and designs as well. It was really strange to see, because the old metallic school bus greatly clashed with the beautiful wood furnishings on it, like the two weren't made to be together. I wish I had been able to take a picture, but sadly I do not own a camera (if anyone has an extra digital camera lying around, maybe God is calling you to bless me with it :). I could tell that someone lived in it, not just drove it. Peaking as far over the windows that I could, I didn't see any bus chairs or seats in there, but I couldn't really see that much.
Anyways, after inspecting the bus, I went into IHOP, and saw a couple outside the prayer room with a small child. Both of them had really long and beautiful dreads for hair, and you could tell that they had a "wilderness" or "separate world" look about them. I introduced myself to them and asked them if the bus was their's, and they said yes. It was really cool to look at them, and see the lifestyle that they live in, completely apart from this material world, living in the wilderness, away from politics and prejudice, laws and governments, rules and guidelines, expectations and fashions. I was struck in my heart seeing this small family, who seemed so far way from the rest of the world, yet so much closer to God! If a family like that entered into most of our modern-day church ministries, they would most likely be judged, shunned, or ridiculed. Seeing them gave me a desire in my heart, and changed something within me that I cannot fully explain. I found myself looking at my own life...looking at the fashion I was wearing, the hats, shoes, shirts and pants, the leather jackets and sunglasses, the computers and the ipods and everything else that I so clung onto as part of my identity, and found myself being disgusted! Why did I need to look like the rest of the world, to fit in to modern day fashions and styles? This man was in a raddy old unwashed pair of khakis and a t-shirt, and his wife was in a plain-colored simple long skirt and shirt. Their hair probably hadn't been washed in quite awhile, growing in dreads, and yet, they had such a cleanness around them at the same time, spiritually. I wanted that. I want to live that lifestyle, one of simplicity, one where people know who I am with no barriers in the way, one who knows his way around this earth and would step off into the wilderness and wild forests and places on his own, just to spend time with God, or to get away from the rest of this human-infested world. I found myself praying to God to live out that simple lifestyle, and the desire to do so. It was really neat.
This is kind-of a double blog. Those were some recent thoughts that have been on my mind today, and I wanted them written down. I just got back from a trip home yesterday, and to say the least, it was very interesting. I never knew how powerful a tool the prayer room was in my life until I found myself without it for a week and a half. I found it so much harder to set aside time for God during the day and get away from everyone else. Granted, I'm not saying that a prayer room is the only time you should be spending with God, or the only way too, because very few people in the nation have that kind of tool. I believe that setting aside time outside the prayer room with God is vastly important as well, and schedule in what I call "wilderness time" with God. It's basically where I go off somewhere away from everyone else (usually the forest or an open field or a lake) with just me, my guitar, my Bible, and my Lord, and spend time with Jesus. I would greatly encourage others to do the same, as it helps so much in growing with God, especially when you're away from all of these man-made things. Anyways, that was a little bunny trail, and another topic for another day. I had such peace when I arrived in KC yesterday, and was so happy to be back to what I consider "home" right now. Of course, it was awesome to be back in Kzoo for awhile, and see my friends and family, but at the same time I am at such peace where I'm at right now because I know for a fact that this is where God wants me right now in this phase of my life.
Going home was kind-of bittersweet for me. It was nice to see changes in some of my friends, seeing how much more they have grown in the Lord in my absense, and seeing what they are seeking after now as compared to two months ago. At the same time it was devestating to see other friends that have fallen further away from God in the past two months as opposed to growing in Him. I've also come to the conclusion on a very important thing: God doesn't always show the plans He has for someone concerning a certain area because once you know what He has planned, it sucks to see it not being fulfilled. I know this personally concerning my future, and also for friends and family of mine who are going through alot of crap right now. The situations seem absolutely impossible, and I don't have any idea how God is going to do it, but I know what He has planned, and I know the future concerning both of these issues, so I guess all I can do is continue to pray and continue to fast and continue to trust in the Lord.
Anyway, the point is, I'm glad to be back. And I feel that I'm entering in to a new season right now...I don't know what that's going to look like, but I think God has a few surprises for me throughout the second half of my first semester. I'm glad to be back, and ready to see what the God of my life has in store. Thanks, Jesus! :)
P.S. I hope to blog more of my thoughts and experiences soon, so expect another blog within the next week or two (I begin my new class with Dave Sliker tomorrow, on Eschatology...so that should be interesting :). Also, if you want to see when a new blog has been posted, add my blog to your subscription so that Myspace will inform you (that way I know who's taking the time to read these as well).
Peace and Joy.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Freedom Hits Like Fire
Freedom hits like fire,
Over empty space,
To lift the eyes of those forsaken,
Into a new embrace.
For he's taken the broken pieces,
And consecrated me,
With His deep blue fire,
Set me completely free.
The demons that once had hold of me,
Were destroyed by Holy Light,
Cast out by Holy Fire,
Out into deep cold night.
They once had hold my eyes,
My hands, my mind, my soul,
But the Father broke the bonds,
That brought me down to Sheol
Now I am free worship,
The very one who set me free,
No power formed on this earth,
Is able to take hold of me.
Yesterday, on September 12, 2007, God showed up. He revealed Himself to me as the Abba Father. My Father. My dad. Where my earthly father may have failed to do certain things with me, show me certain things, tell me certain things that I needed for later on in life, God showed up and healed those areas. Yesterday in class, God showed up, and our class ended and turned into a massive prayer meeting. Demonic powers in peoples lives were utterly BROKEN yesterday, and as equally as important, my life.
God set me free from the things of my past, completely and one hundred percent. Demons that had control over my life were cast out, and what was left was a broken boy, with voids that needed filling. Well, that's where the Father issue broke in, and healed those areas that needed healing...that I didn't even think needed healing only hours before. God struck me, and I fell, and was filled with images of my earthly father, doing things with me as a boy that He never really did with me, things I needed to become the man God wanted me to become. Freedoms I needed, disciplines I needed, conversations I needed. God made me a little child again, and did those things in my mind before me, and became my daddy. I was a little boy, and He was my daddy, and I didn't care, because He was the strongest daddy in the world!
As we broke out in songs and worship, singing in the spirit, healing also broke out in the crowd. So, having already been completely healed on the inside, I began to pray over my right shoulder, that was still damaged from a skateboarding accident about a year ago this month. Ever since that accident this arm has been weaker, and hurt when put in certain positions, or lifting certain things. As I prayed, Allen Hood said "I feel a burning in my left shoulder...someone's shoulder is going to be healed today." Though it was my right shoulder that needed the healing, I continued praying. Suddenly, I can't explain it, I felt something similar to the feeling of "cold electricity" flow jolt through my shoulder and down my arm, and it was instantly healed. I remember, as I was praying, just suddenly saying "whoa," out loud, as I felt that, and was absolutely shocked! It's amazing what a deadly weapon is formed when you combine faith and prayer.
God showed up to me yesterday and totally transformed my life in one day. Now my Ziklag is truly burned down, and I step forth into the next journey of my life in God, literally.
We bow our hearts
We bend our knees
Oh Spirit come make us humble
We turn our eyes
From evil things
Oh Lord we cast down our idols
So give us clean hands
and give us pure hearts
Let us not lift our souls to another
Oh give us clean hands
and give us pure hearts
Let us not lift our souls to another
Oh God let this be
a generation that seeks
Who seeks Your face, Oh God of Jacob
Oh God let us be
a generation that seeks
Who seeks Your face, Oh God of Jacob
John 17:24 - Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory that you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world.
Jarrod
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Ziklag
"Ziklag," you say, "What's a Ziklag?" Well, we'll get to that. First off, I'm reading this absolutely amazing book called "After God's Own Heart" by Mike Bickle, if you haven't read it, I would urge you to do so! It will change so many views on your own life!
I'm looking at the life of David, the man of whom is said to be one after God's own heart. He had many different seasons in his life, but specifically he had six seasons: Bethlehem, Gibeah, Adullam, Hebron and Zion. Bethlehem is the faithfulness in small things, Gibeah is the test of early promotion, Adullam is the cave of difficulty, Hebron is the beginnings of the prophetic purpose, and Zion is the promises fulfilled. It would take way too long to go through them all, so that is why I just urge you to get this book. I'm looking specifically at the ending of the season of Gibeah. After the season of Gibeah in David's life, David found himself suddenly fleeing the palace as Saul equipped three thousand men to seek him out and kill him at all costs. Instead of running to God, David ran into the enemy camp, seeking refuge from Saul's wrath. He promised loyalty to King Achish, and the king gave him the town of Ziklag for him and his followers. David and his men would go and kill Israel's enemies (the Amalkites, Girzites and Geshurites), burning everything to the ground so that no one could escape, and then went back to King Achish, and decieved him into thinking that he was killing Israelites. "David lived with terrible tension inside of him. He was a man divided. On the one hand, he still had great zeal for the Lord....On the other hand, he was living in compromise and using the favor and anointing of God in a wrong way" (After God's Own Heart, Mike Bickle). David, in this period of his life, was neglecting his destiny, disobeying a prophetic word, disregarding his other prophetic promises, betraying Achish with lies, and endangering his men.
This lifestyle went on for sixteen months in David's life, until God stepped in and burned down Ziklag. David was left with nothing. The Amalekites had come in and burned down the entire city, and captured all of their wives and children and belongings. David's men were even thinking of stoning him! But in the midst of all this, David decided to turn around and do the right thing. He repented of His wrongdoings, and immediately got up and followed after God with all his heart again. He didn't wait for a certain amount of time, thinking that he wasn't good enough for God's mercy, he thought of himself as loved by God, and, asking the Lord first, he pursued his enemies and recovered everything that he had lost! And that very same day, David's main enemy, Saul, died in battle. "In one day God delivered David from the place of his compromise, delivered him from jealous King Saul, and gave him power to recover all that was taken by the Amalekites."
Anyway, after looking at David's life and history dealing with Ziklag, THE IMPORTANT PART OF THIS BLOG:
We all have our Ziklags. We all may have had a place of sinful pleasures that we ran into, a fortress where we could escape God and enter into the lands of our enemy, where we thought He couldn't get to us. We still wanted to seek after God, of course, and we still fought the enemy, yes, but we still had things entangled in us from our past that were gripping us. I definitely did, anyway. I ran to my fortress where I thought I was safe, and though I still served God, and pursued after Him, I was deceiving others and suffering in sin on the side. But the beautiful thing is, that God burned it down, and resolved everything in an instant. I got up, and realized that God loved me, He didn't care about my past, no matter how recent it was! I am God's favorite, and there's nothing that can get between us! And in the same way, He can burn your Ziklag down, no matter how big or small, and you can return to the lands of your ancestors immediately, and serve the Holy One of Israel, who will never leave you!
Psalm 203:13-14 - As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him; for He knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust.
Jarrod
I'm looking at the life of David, the man of whom is said to be one after God's own heart. He had many different seasons in his life, but specifically he had six seasons: Bethlehem, Gibeah, Adullam, Hebron and Zion. Bethlehem is the faithfulness in small things, Gibeah is the test of early promotion, Adullam is the cave of difficulty, Hebron is the beginnings of the prophetic purpose, and Zion is the promises fulfilled. It would take way too long to go through them all, so that is why I just urge you to get this book. I'm looking specifically at the ending of the season of Gibeah. After the season of Gibeah in David's life, David found himself suddenly fleeing the palace as Saul equipped three thousand men to seek him out and kill him at all costs. Instead of running to God, David ran into the enemy camp, seeking refuge from Saul's wrath. He promised loyalty to King Achish, and the king gave him the town of Ziklag for him and his followers. David and his men would go and kill Israel's enemies (the Amalkites, Girzites and Geshurites), burning everything to the ground so that no one could escape, and then went back to King Achish, and decieved him into thinking that he was killing Israelites. "David lived with terrible tension inside of him. He was a man divided. On the one hand, he still had great zeal for the Lord....On the other hand, he was living in compromise and using the favor and anointing of God in a wrong way" (After God's Own Heart, Mike Bickle). David, in this period of his life, was neglecting his destiny, disobeying a prophetic word, disregarding his other prophetic promises, betraying Achish with lies, and endangering his men.
This lifestyle went on for sixteen months in David's life, until God stepped in and burned down Ziklag. David was left with nothing. The Amalekites had come in and burned down the entire city, and captured all of their wives and children and belongings. David's men were even thinking of stoning him! But in the midst of all this, David decided to turn around and do the right thing. He repented of His wrongdoings, and immediately got up and followed after God with all his heart again. He didn't wait for a certain amount of time, thinking that he wasn't good enough for God's mercy, he thought of himself as loved by God, and, asking the Lord first, he pursued his enemies and recovered everything that he had lost! And that very same day, David's main enemy, Saul, died in battle. "In one day God delivered David from the place of his compromise, delivered him from jealous King Saul, and gave him power to recover all that was taken by the Amalekites."
Anyway, after looking at David's life and history dealing with Ziklag, THE IMPORTANT PART OF THIS BLOG:
We all have our Ziklags. We all may have had a place of sinful pleasures that we ran into, a fortress where we could escape God and enter into the lands of our enemy, where we thought He couldn't get to us. We still wanted to seek after God, of course, and we still fought the enemy, yes, but we still had things entangled in us from our past that were gripping us. I definitely did, anyway. I ran to my fortress where I thought I was safe, and though I still served God, and pursued after Him, I was deceiving others and suffering in sin on the side. But the beautiful thing is, that God burned it down, and resolved everything in an instant. I got up, and realized that God loved me, He didn't care about my past, no matter how recent it was! I am God's favorite, and there's nothing that can get between us! And in the same way, He can burn your Ziklag down, no matter how big or small, and you can return to the lands of your ancestors immediately, and serve the Holy One of Israel, who will never leave you!
Psalm 203:13-14 - As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him; for He knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust.
Jarrod
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Deep Calls to Deep
As I prepare my heart for prayer and worship and deep thoughts about God, I dwell on this passage from Deep Unto Deep by Dana Candler:
"A Prayer of Barrenness"
My heart aches. I love Him, yes, but faintly.
I desire Him, yes, but weakly.
I want Him, true, but waveringly.
Even the pain that lies within
I recognize to be such faint pain,
A mere discomfort next to the heart-wrenching anguish
That grips true lovers
My knowledge is nothing. My wisdom, infancy.
I see nothing as it truly is.
Eternity what is light. This life of earth what is dark.
Stories remain stories. Not sinking deep within my soul,
And scarring me with Divine invasion
Your cross is a picture, Your Heaven a fantasy.
Tears are sweet emotions, moved by Your sacrifice.
But not the tears of sharing in Your sufferings.
I say Your name so sweetly but do not know its Face.
All I am is far. So distant, so removed.
But You beckon me come.
Yet, my Lord, I am nothing. I have nothing. I know nothing.
When I thought I had something,
It dissolved before Your beauty.
And I was left naked. Possessing nothing.
Poor for words. Empty of all. Needy and alone.
Even so, my Love, call me.
Yes, do not leave me here but beckon me come.
Though I have nothing, though I am only poor,
I cast myself on your unfailing love
Where else would I go?
Whom have I but You?
(an excerpt from Deep Unto Deep, by Dana Candler)
That's quite sobering, but true nonetheless. There have been so many times in my life that I've settled myself down, attempted to prepare my heart, and enter in to worshipping God and praying, but found myself only five minutes later at a loss, with nothing but air around me. It always left me to think, "Where are you, God? Why don't you come down and talk to me, why don't you just speak up and acknowledge that you exist, or come show me some revelation or vision?" And yet, still, nothing. Why nothing? Why doesn't God just come down and reveal himself to us every time that we enter into worship, and why so many times that we enter in to prayer are we left with a void where it seems God doesn't care or even want to answer us?
The misconception here is that we don't fully realize "what God's heart is like and just what He feels in these seemingly barren days.....These times feel barren to us, but they are not. They are far from fruitless to the Ancient of Days, and He does not forget one moment of their composition." It says in Galations 6:8, "But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit." God does capture our heart in these times, and he bottles up every tear we cry in these void times. We are called to give Him glory at every moment, in everything we do, whether we "feel" anything or not.
And so with that, I return to praising my Lord and Savior here in the prayer room. :)
Psalm 42:7 - "Deep calls unto deep at the noise of Your waterfalls;
All Your waves and billows have gone over me."
Jarrod
My heart aches. I love Him, yes, but faintly.
I desire Him, yes, but weakly.
I want Him, true, but waveringly.
Even the pain that lies within
I recognize to be such faint pain,
A mere discomfort next to the heart-wrenching anguish
That grips true lovers
My knowledge is nothing. My wisdom, infancy.
I see nothing as it truly is.
Eternity what is light. This life of earth what is dark.
Stories remain stories. Not sinking deep within my soul,
And scarring me with Divine invasion
Your cross is a picture, Your Heaven a fantasy.
Tears are sweet emotions, moved by Your sacrifice.
But not the tears of sharing in Your sufferings.
I say Your name so sweetly but do not know its Face.
All I am is far. So distant, so removed.
But You beckon me come.
Yet, my Lord, I am nothing. I have nothing. I know nothing.
When I thought I had something,
It dissolved before Your beauty.
And I was left naked. Possessing nothing.
Poor for words. Empty of all. Needy and alone.
Even so, my Love, call me.
Yes, do not leave me here but beckon me come.
Though I have nothing, though I am only poor,
I cast myself on your unfailing love
Where else would I go?
Whom have I but You?
(an excerpt from Deep Unto Deep, by Dana Candler)
That's quite sobering, but true nonetheless. There have been so many times in my life that I've settled myself down, attempted to prepare my heart, and enter in to worshipping God and praying, but found myself only five minutes later at a loss, with nothing but air around me. It always left me to think, "Where are you, God? Why don't you come down and talk to me, why don't you just speak up and acknowledge that you exist, or come show me some revelation or vision?" And yet, still, nothing. Why nothing? Why doesn't God just come down and reveal himself to us every time that we enter into worship, and why so many times that we enter in to prayer are we left with a void where it seems God doesn't care or even want to answer us?
The misconception here is that we don't fully realize "what God's heart is like and just what He feels in these seemingly barren days.....These times feel barren to us, but they are not. They are far from fruitless to the Ancient of Days, and He does not forget one moment of their composition." It says in Galations 6:8, "But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit." God does capture our heart in these times, and he bottles up every tear we cry in these void times. We are called to give Him glory at every moment, in everything we do, whether we "feel" anything or not.
And so with that, I return to praising my Lord and Savior here in the prayer room. :)
Psalm 42:7 - "Deep calls unto deep at the noise of Your waterfalls;
All Your waves and billows have gone over me."
Jarrod
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Burn
I sit here, typing on this little computer, in this little prayer room, pouring my heart out over God and this nation, over my hometown, over my home church, over my friends back in Kalamazoo, over my family, over my new friends that I've just made, and over my training and future ministry. God has shown me some amazing things, but I never thought in a million years that at this moment in time, I would be living in Kansas City, Missouri, being completely transformed by God's passion and unfailing love and faithfulness and everlasting, never-ending JOY! I finally realize that God's in control, whether I like it or not, and He did choose me for such a time as this, and this is where He wants me right now. This is my safe haven, my escape from the world. God's taken me up from normal every-day life and plucked me away, and now He's preparing me. He's preparing me for something amazing, something so awesome that I cannot even comprehend! All I know is that I've now been marked for life. I now know where God wants me, and what He wants me doing. I've been called as an intercessor, a forerunner for the awesome outpouring that's about to occur on our little nation and our little world. God's about to grab it in His hands and shake it apart, and all I know is that I'm going to be prepared for it!
Thank you God, thank you for revealing the place that you called me to be at for my training and transformation! Thank you God, that you instantly took care of my living situation right after I was accepted! Thank you Lord, that I've already made lifelong friends on only my second day of orientations here! Thankyou God, you still did all these things even when I didn't have enough faith to believe that you would be able to!
"I've set myself on fire, and people come to watch me burn." - John Wesley
Jarrod, totally abandoned.
Thank you God, thank you for revealing the place that you called me to be at for my training and transformation! Thank you God, that you instantly took care of my living situation right after I was accepted! Thank you Lord, that I've already made lifelong friends on only my second day of orientations here! Thankyou God, you still did all these things even when I didn't have enough faith to believe that you would be able to!
"I've set myself on fire, and people come to watch me burn." - John Wesley
Jarrod, totally abandoned.
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