God is so faithful, and it is so good to see things being fulfilled and renewed, and restoration taking place where it needs to most.
I thank God for such a wonderful Christmas. Waking up with presents all around and smiling faces of my family, all together again for the holidays, as we sit around the Christmas tree and pass around our gifts; we all really went all out this year. But today I received a few very special gifts:
I saw the smiling face of my mother as she was so happy that Rob and Josh and I cleaned up the house late last night to surprise her in the morning.
I saw restoration in my brother-in-law, and still see it coming about. He is changing back, or moving forward, whichever you wish to call it, into who he was and who he is supposed to be. There has been a shift in the natural realm as his marriage has been restored and he has improved in relationships with me and others. Now I am awaiting the spiritual shift to occur, and I got what I asked for from him for Christmas: He's coming down to Kansas City for Onething, which is a huge prayer answered after interceding and praying for him for the past few months as he's endured hardships and trials. Now I only pray that he allow God to show up to him on the heart level and allow himself to be transformed completely at this conference. God wants to, He's been waiting for a very long time, being merciful and patient, and He's just waiting for Rob to say yes.
I saw improved relationships between me and my siblings and cousins and aunt as well, we've all grown apart as we experience life in our own ways, but this Christmas season we've come closer together. I felt genuine hugs and had real conversations with many of them, and it's nice to see we're all actually growing up.
I saw my grandparents being their same old selves, yet getting older, and found I had to cherish what I had with them, as they might not be around much longer.
I see people changing and being changed, and I see God's will being done in many lives. There are many more things we must allow Him to do in our lives for us to be completely transformed, but as a flower slowly blooms, so we are slowly opening up and revealing the true colors and nature that God has called us all too.
As I prepare to go back down to Kansas City, I look forward to even more transformation in my next semester. Some say what I'm doing isn't smart. Going to an non-accredited college for a piece of paper that means nothing in the world's eyes. But I don't have my eye on that. I'm receiving training for whatever other missions in life that God will call me to. I'm learning more than I have learned in my entire life about God, and being transformed by His love and power twenty-four/seven in an ever-growing prayer room. I may not have a steady job right now making lots of money to prepare for a future, but I serve God Himself, and last I checked He owns every penny on this earth, and I think that's enough for me. I don't have the funds for my next semester yet, not sufficient enough (I need $1500 to cover it, and it's due January 4th). I don't know how, and I don't know from where, but I do know this: God is my provider, and wherever that money comes from I will leave in His hands, because I know that He will provide. I know of miraculous finances coming out of nowhere literally, and I have not a single doubt in my mind that my Lord and Savior, Jehovah Jireh can provide a small sum such as I need.
It truly has been a wonderful Christmas, and I await just one more gift by the Lord that He's promised me, since the others are already coming or have come already, and I will put my total trust in Him for this gift as well. He will do as He has planned. Not a rock is turned nor a single thing done without the knowledge of the living, breathing, creating God, and He will bring all things to pass that He has prepared for His son.
I pray that everyone has had as good of a Christmas as I have this year, as I reflect and thank Jesus for all that He's done in my life, even in just this past six months or so. From transformation to revelation, revelation to proclamation, proclamation to acclamation, and acclamation to restoration..... Our God is a living flame, a consuming fire, and He is dazzling in beauty and rage, fire and water, jasper and sardius. He is altogether lovely, and He loves to bless His children.
Lord, rain down your blessings on your children, bring transformation, bring restoration, bring your fire, bring your Holy Spirit, bring your rain, bring your peace, bring your rage, bring justice and bring mercy; come restore your people as we wait for you as a lovesick people for their bridegroom, in Jesus' name, bring restoration (to my brother-in-law, to my sister, to my other sister, to both of my wonderful cousins, to my uncle, to my family). Amen.
Jarrod
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
The Journey of a Boy
Four months and one day ago, a boy set out on a journey to discover himself. He traveled to a faraway place, and left his family, friends, church, job, and previous life behind in Michigan. On that day in the early August wind, when he saw his family drive away, leaving him in the dust in Kansas City, he felt abandoned, lost, confused. He had no one. He was a boy lost among strangers, being forced to adapt to a new way of life, and questioning whether or not this was the right decision all along.
The boy found himself living with new people, five roommates, and learning a new way of life away from home. He quickly realized he could no longer rely on his mother's home cooking or the chores around the house to just take care of themselves. He grew closer to them, and had to grow up quickly to adapt to their lifestyles, and to his own new lifestyle. But it was a good change, one that he needed to wake up to and realize.
The boy found himself in a new vibrant and much larger city, where the shuffle of people's lives was a bit faster. He found himself by big buildings and hundreds of coffee shops, fountains everywhere, and shopping malls galore.
But more importantly, a little bit further away from all the Kansas City shuffle, he found a community of people where he would later find that he belonged to. He found a small prayer room, ever-growing bigger, where people truly were connected to God. He found new friends that weren't involved with the things of this world, yes, they were pure and set aside and actually knew God. They didn't put on the facade of loving God only to not live it out later and betray him. The boy connected with them and instantly made lifelong friends. It grew into late nights where only one thing mattered: Seeking out the very heart of God together and crying out in the Holy Spirit for more of God, groaning and crying over the lost loved ones, remembering their lives before they truly knew God, remembering how Christ took away the pain, the hurt, the crying, the shame, and restored them completely. They found themselves confused at first, but quickly learned and grew in the Lord, and became strong accountability partners, best friends, lovers of God, and some of them even lovers.
The boy, having had to trust in God for everything, realized there was so much more to life than the ordinary things in life. He was transformed by God's fire and glory, and changed into the person he was supposed to be all along but hadn't realized it. He had been afraid to grow up back home, unable to, with so many preventions in his own life and mind. But now he found himself among new faces, new friends, a new home, a new community, a new way of looking at life itself, and many many new ways of worshipping and praising God. And, being lifted up in all of these, the boy changed....
He grew up into a man. A young man, still learning, still searching out God, still experiencing new things every day. But now there is a difference: He knows his purpose, he knows what he was created for. He knows his occupation, his career, his lifestyle. He knows who he is, and has found his identity, his personality, and God's will for his life. The enemy has no power over him anymore, nothing to turn him back into the boy he once was, his mind has been turned completely around, in a way that can't be turned back. He knows so much more now... He knows of the terrible things to come, the awesome things to come, the new life, the old life passing away, the Kingdom.... And eternity.
The boy became a man, and the man knows his purpose: To seek the heart of God. Nothing more and nothing less, it is all defined in that alone. The praying, the interceding, the crying, the laughing, the joy, the sadness, the groaning, the pain and the anger, the suffering, the trust, the faith, and the love...... He is an intercessor, a prayer, a single thread in a tapestry of God's kingdom of people that are to be raised up in the latter days to walk in the ancient paths and cry out for the living God! He will have NOTHING less than the double portion that God has assigned to him!
The man's journey is not over, though. And who knows what will happen to him next? What new transformation will take place next? Where God will lead him? What new levels of His glory will be revealed to him? Well, that's in God's hands, and will come about in His timing.... Until then, he knows what He's been called to, and the journey continues..........
The boy found himself living with new people, five roommates, and learning a new way of life away from home. He quickly realized he could no longer rely on his mother's home cooking or the chores around the house to just take care of themselves. He grew closer to them, and had to grow up quickly to adapt to their lifestyles, and to his own new lifestyle. But it was a good change, one that he needed to wake up to and realize.
The boy found himself in a new vibrant and much larger city, where the shuffle of people's lives was a bit faster. He found himself by big buildings and hundreds of coffee shops, fountains everywhere, and shopping malls galore.
But more importantly, a little bit further away from all the Kansas City shuffle, he found a community of people where he would later find that he belonged to. He found a small prayer room, ever-growing bigger, where people truly were connected to God. He found new friends that weren't involved with the things of this world, yes, they were pure and set aside and actually knew God. They didn't put on the facade of loving God only to not live it out later and betray him. The boy connected with them and instantly made lifelong friends. It grew into late nights where only one thing mattered: Seeking out the very heart of God together and crying out in the Holy Spirit for more of God, groaning and crying over the lost loved ones, remembering their lives before they truly knew God, remembering how Christ took away the pain, the hurt, the crying, the shame, and restored them completely. They found themselves confused at first, but quickly learned and grew in the Lord, and became strong accountability partners, best friends, lovers of God, and some of them even lovers.
The boy, having had to trust in God for everything, realized there was so much more to life than the ordinary things in life. He was transformed by God's fire and glory, and changed into the person he was supposed to be all along but hadn't realized it. He had been afraid to grow up back home, unable to, with so many preventions in his own life and mind. But now he found himself among new faces, new friends, a new home, a new community, a new way of looking at life itself, and many many new ways of worshipping and praising God. And, being lifted up in all of these, the boy changed....
He grew up into a man. A young man, still learning, still searching out God, still experiencing new things every day. But now there is a difference: He knows his purpose, he knows what he was created for. He knows his occupation, his career, his lifestyle. He knows who he is, and has found his identity, his personality, and God's will for his life. The enemy has no power over him anymore, nothing to turn him back into the boy he once was, his mind has been turned completely around, in a way that can't be turned back. He knows so much more now... He knows of the terrible things to come, the awesome things to come, the new life, the old life passing away, the Kingdom.... And eternity.
The boy became a man, and the man knows his purpose: To seek the heart of God. Nothing more and nothing less, it is all defined in that alone. The praying, the interceding, the crying, the laughing, the joy, the sadness, the groaning, the pain and the anger, the suffering, the trust, the faith, and the love...... He is an intercessor, a prayer, a single thread in a tapestry of God's kingdom of people that are to be raised up in the latter days to walk in the ancient paths and cry out for the living God! He will have NOTHING less than the double portion that God has assigned to him!
The man's journey is not over, though. And who knows what will happen to him next? What new transformation will take place next? Where God will lead him? What new levels of His glory will be revealed to him? Well, that's in God's hands, and will come about in His timing.... Until then, he knows what He's been called to, and the journey continues..........
Monday, December 3, 2007
Not Single Anymore
Recently, a number of my friends down here started dating / courting and growing in relationships. At first I was happy for them. Then I was disgusted and sick of them. All the holding hands and being close and loving on each other and giving to each other, I was so jealous! God knew my heart, and He knew what my desires were, yet I was seeing it fulfilled in other peoples' lives, not my own! I got angry and sad and miserable. Not to mention, besides all of that, I was way behind on my homework, and my stress level was about as high as it could go. I couldn't even enter in to the presence of God while sitting in the prayer room - I was either thinking about relationships or homework, and couldn't focus on anything.
This past week I had a huge breakthrough of God as the bridegroom. In one of our many Holy-Spirit filled nights at my friend's house, God called me away to a quiet room of the house, where I found myself in a new area of God's mercy and love. I cried out to God, asking for Him to change my desires, to change my heart and let it focus on Him. I found myself literally groaning in the Spirit, in a new level of intimacy with Christ. I knew that God knew what I truly wanted, but in order for me to focus on Him right now, He had to go in and do some open heart surgery, and change many things around. I had to ask forgiveness in upholding a future relationship with someone here on earth over the relationship I had with Christ my bridegroom and savior. He knows that I long to be a father one day with beautiful little daughters that I can pour out my love on as He pours out His fatherly love on me. He knows that one day I long to be in marriage to a beautiful bride to portray how I am to be married to Him and pour my love out on her as He does on me. However, right now I've finally realized, He wants me to fully grasp and fully take hold of both the father-hood love He gives me, and the bridegroom reality of love that He gives me. I've taken that so much for granted, or haven't even fully realized it, and I know now He wants me to grow deeper in that and fully grasp it before He grants me the desires of my heart. Until then, my desires have been changed, and I long for my Father and my Bride, my God and my Savior, Jesus Christ. So that's right, I'm no longer single anymore, I'm going out with Jesus, and not worrying about the things of this world. God might be calling me for five years, ten years, even the rest of my life, and I have to trust in Him that He will be my provider, and He will take care of me.
In other news, I'm in my last week of class, our semester ends this Friday the 7th. I've been stressing over homework the past couple weeks, cramming to get everything in on time. I'll be happy to come home for Christmas break and not have to worry about homework, and will enjoy spending some time drinking hot-cocoa, reading some good books, playing guitar, and spending time with Jesus and the family. Bless you all.
~ Jarrod
This past week I had a huge breakthrough of God as the bridegroom. In one of our many Holy-Spirit filled nights at my friend's house, God called me away to a quiet room of the house, where I found myself in a new area of God's mercy and love. I cried out to God, asking for Him to change my desires, to change my heart and let it focus on Him. I found myself literally groaning in the Spirit, in a new level of intimacy with Christ. I knew that God knew what I truly wanted, but in order for me to focus on Him right now, He had to go in and do some open heart surgery, and change many things around. I had to ask forgiveness in upholding a future relationship with someone here on earth over the relationship I had with Christ my bridegroom and savior. He knows that I long to be a father one day with beautiful little daughters that I can pour out my love on as He pours out His fatherly love on me. He knows that one day I long to be in marriage to a beautiful bride to portray how I am to be married to Him and pour my love out on her as He does on me. However, right now I've finally realized, He wants me to fully grasp and fully take hold of both the father-hood love He gives me, and the bridegroom reality of love that He gives me. I've taken that so much for granted, or haven't even fully realized it, and I know now He wants me to grow deeper in that and fully grasp it before He grants me the desires of my heart. Until then, my desires have been changed, and I long for my Father and my Bride, my God and my Savior, Jesus Christ. So that's right, I'm no longer single anymore, I'm going out with Jesus, and not worrying about the things of this world. God might be calling me for five years, ten years, even the rest of my life, and I have to trust in Him that He will be my provider, and He will take care of me.
In other news, I'm in my last week of class, our semester ends this Friday the 7th. I've been stressing over homework the past couple weeks, cramming to get everything in on time. I'll be happy to come home for Christmas break and not have to worry about homework, and will enjoy spending some time drinking hot-cocoa, reading some good books, playing guitar, and spending time with Jesus and the family. Bless you all.
~ Jarrod
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