In One Year...

I am writing this blog purely for myself, but if it encourages you to write one for yourself too, then by all means, read it and be encouraged.

I find myself in an interesting season recently. One where I'm pretty much locked in where I am, doing what I am, probably for the next year or so. In that year though, I have decided that I want to have some things accomplished in my life. I don't want it to slip by, and then come September 20th, 2011, and I have not accomplished anything significant. Therefore, I'm setting forth goals for myself that I can look back on one year from this blog, and check off whether or not I've accomplished them. I'm doing this to push myself forward, and discipline myself, and make the best use of all of my time. I encourage you to do something similar; make a blog like this one, so that you can be accountable to all your readers in a year in whether or not you've accomplished your own goals. So, here they are:

1. One year from now I want to be completely and totally debt free. I actually plan on being debt free before the end of this year, if it's possible, but that's in God's hands.
2. One year from now, I want to have my photography business completely sustaining me and bringing in regular income. And if I continue in diligence with it, and with the Lord's blessing, I know that it will get there.
3. One year from now, I want to be so disciplined in the Word and spending my time with God, that I will not give it up for anything. Where I spend that one hour with God, every day, eating the scroll and praying and worshiping Him in the secret place. I want to be so jealous for this; destroying the apathy and laziness I currently see in my heart.
4. One year from now, I want to have built a regular workout schedule, where I'm running at least once a day, staying fit and in shape, and taking care of the temple that I've been blessed with.
5. One year from now, I want to have disciplined myself in practicing and getting better at the guitar, so that I can have an additional weapon of warfare against the enemy, and an additional tool in my belt for worshiping my Lord with.

One year from now, I don't want to be where I am. I want to have used this time wisely, rather than let it slip away through my fingers. Time is the most valuable thing we have on this side of eternity, and I want to push myself, especially while I'm young, to go after these things and pursue God to my fullest, and everything that He's called me to. I know my life calling, and I want to get there as soon as God will release me, but first I realize that I need to discipline my flesh and my heart to go after the deep things of God. Once I have this foundational cement poured, dried, and sealed, then maybe, just maybe, I'll be ready for what God has for me. Selah.

Want and Need

There's an old poem out there called the "Prayer of an Unknown Confederate Soldier" that goes like this:

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve, I was

made weak, that I might humbly obey.

I asked for health, that I might do greater things, I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.

I asked for riches, that I might be happy, I was given poverty,

that I might be wise.

I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men, I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.

I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life, I was given life,

that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I had hoped for.

Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.

I am among all men, most richly blessed.

I, being part of the human race, constantly ask God for things. Whether it be something I feel that I need, or something I feel I deserve, or something I just want, or just out of my own selfishness. We're always asking God for things, legitimately and otherwise. But more times than not, what we ask for is not what we get. I have a million circumstances in my life at any given time that I wish God would come change. I ask God for a blessing in finances, and I seem to slip further into debt. Why? Because, He's teaching me how to be faithful with what I have. I ask God for a great job, and He gives me a blessing in disguise: I got hired at Panera Bread. It was a humbling experience for me, because it wasn't what I wanted, but it's exactly what I needed right now in this season, and God is using me there now to reach out to coworkers and customers. And here's a big one that I always ask God for and He always seems silent on: A wife. God knows what I want, but more than that, He knows exactly what I need, and He's gracious enough to protect me from my desires until the right season in which I'm ready for that blessing to come upon me. So He's preparing me, making me ready. Making me ready for ministry, for my calling, for my wife, and everything He has for me. And in the end, I'll get what I asked for. It'll just be in a way I didn't expect, and it'll be far better than I could ever imagine. And it's worth it.

So if you ever find yourself not getting what you asked for, don't be disappointed. God's not some far off stoic being in outer space who doesn't care about you. He knows you more than you do, and He knows what you can take in every season. There's a time for every purpose under Heaven, as one of my favorite authors in the Bible writes (King Solomon, in Ecclesiastes), and at the appointed time He will unleash the blessings He has for you, and the answered prayers you've been waiting for. Your spouse is coming. Your baby is coming. Your finances will be taken care of. Your healing is on it's way. He's a good dad, and when you ask for a fish He will NOT give you a rock. He holds the entire universe between His fingers, but He chose YOU as His temple and dwelling place. Is there no greater honor under the Heavens? He is the Author of Creation, and yet He chose to BECOME His creation and take on our flesh. Why would He do such a thing if He didn't care about you?

The bottom line is this: God is worthy of our everything, whether He answers our prayers or not. But the good news is, He answers prayers anyway.

Giving "All that's Inside of my Heart"

There's a song that one of my favorite IHOP–KC artists (Jon Thurlow) sings, that goes a little something like this:

"For all your fountains are in me,
and I have everything you need.

Just keep coming back to Me.

And those who call upon My name
they will not be put to shame.
Just keep coming back to Me.

Cast all your cares on Me,
cause I care for you, I care for you.
Just keep coming back to Me."

This song cries out inside of me every day, as I find myself going after insuperior pleasures that this world has to offer. It inspires me, however, remembering that no matter where I go or what I do, all of my fountains are in God. I am confidently at the place in my life where I know that nothing else can satisfy me like His presence. Whenever I have any situation or problem or life circumstance going on, I am reminded of this song (and verse Psalm 87:7), that all my fountains are in Him, and though I continually stray every day, I have no other choice but to return to Him, because He is the source that keeps me alive.

Please understand me that when I write this, I don't mean to sound so cliche or use overly-used Christianized words. When I write this, I mean to tell you, the reader, that I have tapped into something that simply cannot be expressed in words. God is not the means by which I "cope" with life, or "make it through, just barely." He is the reason that I am living life at all, and everything I do must be unto Him. He is my water, my food, the air that I breathe and the substance that I need to be anything more than a walking zombie on this earth.

So, bearing those thoughts in mind, what does it mean to 'give all that's inside of my heart'? Does that mean you must live a dry, dull life, go to church on Sunday, and be a good "Christian" (I'd like to pick apart the word "Christian" as well—but we'll save that for another blog)? One could say yes to a few of those, with some explanation, but I want to expand your mind here. Living a life where you give all that's inside of your heart simply means being fully abandoned to the will of God, which means being open to listening to the voice of the Holy Spirit when He's talking to you. It means positioning your heart so that His will becomes higher than your own selfish will. And it's not easy to do (and I am by no means fully to that point either). Anyway, that's all I have for now. I hope you enjoy my ramblings.

Evaporation

Our existence is so small

It is only a glimmer's moment

A fragrant of a chance

A minute at most.

We exist in evaporating bodies

Dust and bones, most of us dead and unliving

But for the breath of God that fills us few

The nonforsaken chosen ones that God chooses for mercy

One day I'll give away this bag of bones

And on that day I'll receive something new

Something that is unevaporatable, unchanging, unshifting

A new body, in a new world, serving a new kingdom

No pain, guilt, frustration will exist

No ulterior motives, no fleshly desires

No sin. No sin. No sin.

Totally free, without blemish, and no temptation

To dream of that day is just that: a dream.

It seems so impossible, and so unattainable

But one day it will be so

And there's nothing you can do

Sin will not win. Satan will suffer. And I will live on.

But until then, I will live in this body of evaporation.

I will endure.

I will withstand.

I will fall. I will fail. I will succumb.

But then

I will get up.

And I will press on.

And one day

I will overcome.

The Creator's Creation

"Each grain, if it spoke, would say, I am at the center; for me all things were made. Let no mouth open to gainsay it. Blessed be He!"

"Each grain is at the center. The dust is at the center. The worlds are at the center. The beasts are at the center. The ancient peoples are there. The race that sinned is there. Tor and Tinidril are there. The gods are there also. Blessed be He!"

"Where Maleldil is, there is the center. He is in every place. Not some of Him in one place, and some in another, but in each place the whole Maleldil, even in the smallness beyond thought. There is no way out of the center save into the Bent Will which casts itself into the Nowhere. Blessed be He!"

"Each thing was made for Him. He is the center. Because we are with Him, each of us is at the center. It is not as in a city of the Darkened World where they say that each must live for all. In His city all things are made for each. When He died in the Wounded World He died not for men, but for each man. If each man had been the only man made, He would have done no less. Each thing, from the single grain of Dust to the strongest eldil, is the end and final cause of all creation and the mirror in which the beam of His brightness comes to rest and so returns to Him. Blessed be He!"

An excerpt from "Perelandra", ch. 17, C.S. Lewis

An Awakening (Moving to Pennsylvania, pt 2)

In my last blog (New Season), I explained that I was moving to Pennsylvania. It was a rushed post, as I mostly just wanted people to be aware so it didn't come so suddenly to them. Here, I want to explain more of a background, as well as my thoughts and reasoning why I'm moving to Pennsylvania, and also what I feel God is calling me to do while I'm there.

On November 11th, 2009, what we call the "awakening" broke out here at IHOP–KC. Ever since then, my life has been thrown into a sort of whirlwind. It's been crazy, really. About the second week of the awakening, God spoke directly to my heart some very specific things. He said that the year 2010 was going to look much different than what I thought. The first thing that came to my mind after that was "I don't think I'm going to be working for IHOP's marketing department next year". This was weird for me, because I didn't see any other open door for me to go through. I just figured I would keep working for marketing and stay on full time staff here at IHOP, and that would be that!

Well, the fruition of that word took hold on March 17th, the day before I went to Pennsylvania for a vacation / ministry trip to Pennsylvania (to see my friends Darren and Gentry). Due to new direction that IHOP is taking, many departments had to release some of their operations staff due to insufficient finances. I was let go because of this. Please understand (for those of my friends and family back home) that I was not let go of full-time staff at IHOP, I was only released from my job on the missions base (which was about 75% of my financial stability). I am still on full-time staff at IHOP–KC. I had a lot of peace about this entire thing though, because God had given me the word last November. And besides that, if some family underground in China now is able to watch the prayer room (due to IHOP–KC's release of the free webstream), I would gladly have my job sacrificed for such a thing!

The second part of the word that God spoke to my heart during the awakening was that He would present many opportunities before me, and that they were all good—but I would have to pick and choose which ones to run with. I didn't really know what this meant until the beginning of this year when I launched my own photography business. But that was only the beginning. I've had lots of different opportunities come my way (some involving staying here in Kansas City, some involving moving elsewhere), but the one I want to focus on here is Pennsylvania. On March 18th (the day after I lost my job), I went to Pennsylvania as planned. I had a great trip (I was there for almost two weeks), and I had a blast! I got to sing on my friend's worship team, lead in some prayer, and spend time with some of my closest friends. I felt so much peace about the possibility of moving there and joining up with them in everything they're doing. I asked the Lord for confirmation (in the natural, and supernatural), and I got them both (I won't go in to that, but it was pretty cool)!

After deciding that I was for sure moving there (around the second week of May), I started to realize that everything that God was doing was very strategic. I feel like me moving to Pennsylvania is for more than I realize. I'm not moving there for me; I'm going to partner with my friends there in uniting churches in that area to ask the Lord for an awakening and revival in that region. I don't know how it's all going to happen, but some pieces are already starting to fall in place, and it's really exciting!

As I make this transition, I ask for your continued prayer and support. If you feel led to support me financially, please contact me. I have a paypal link on my facebook page (on the bottom left of my profile), or you can make checks out to me (Jarrod Tishhouse). These finances will help me to make my transition to Pennsylvania over the next month, and provide for my rent and basic needs while I become stable there. I am praying that my photography business starts to flourish, but that's a little rocky right now when moving to a new area and establishing myself will take awhile to accomplish.

I will be in Kalamazoo, MI the first or second week of May, and then I will move down to Lancaster, PA about mid-May. Your prayers are greatly valued and appreciated.

Jarrod

New Season (Moving to Pennsylvania)

Hey everyone!

There is much going on in my life right now, and I wanted to be able to update everyone on what's going on. So I figured a blog would be the easiest way.

Before I get in to what and where the Lord is leading me, I want to provide some background. Back at the very beginning of the Awakening here at IHOP–KC (last November), God started speaking some different things to me. One very specific thing that He told me was that 2010 was not going to look what I thought it was going to look like, and that I would have many new opportunities presented to me. Well, fast forward to March, 2010 and that word has started to take root in my life. Many different things have been shifting and changing for me, and God is closing doors in this season for me in Kansas City. At the same time, He has been opening new doors for me in Pennsylvania.

In all of this whirlwind of change, I have gotten very specific confirmation from the Lord and peace about all of this, and I have decided after much prayer that I am moving to Pennsylvania at the beginning of next month (May). I have decided to step down from full-time staff here at IHOP–KC (whether for a season or indefinitely, I do not know), and move to Lancaster, PA to live with a few of my closest friends out there. Most people I encounter immediately ask me "what are you going to be doing out there?" My first answer to that is "I don't fully know, but what I do know is that I am supposed to be there." I feel such peace from the Lord about moving to PA, and such discontentment if I were to stay in Kansas City right now. So, above all else, I'm moving there because I feel that I am supposed to. I do, however, have an idea what I'll be doing while I'm there. I have many awesome and very close friends out there that I am excited to join with—they lead worship and prayer at a few different churches in the area, and I would be jumping on board with that and helping out anywhere and everywhere I can. There is also a house of prayer out there that I plan on looking into getting involved with as well. My main objective is to be obedient to the Holy Spirit in all that I do, so I must obey His calling on my life and go where He says to go.

I do feel, at this time, that moving to PA will only be for a season (I'm thinking anywhere between six months to a year), and that afterwards I will move back to Kansas City and rejoin staff at IHOP–KC. However, it's entirely in God's hands as I never know where or what He'll lead me to next.

I am greatly excited and greatly scared of the near future, as this is a big step of faith for me. I appreciate all of my friends here in Kansas City. It has been an honor to run with you for these past two and a half years. I appreciate all of my friends and family back in Michigan as well, and I thank you for your continued support in all that I do. I plan on stopping back home for a week or two before I finalize my move to Kansas City, so I hope to see you all. And lastly, I thank all my friends in Pennsylvania (new and old); I'm excited to move forward and see what God has for us in this next season as I take part and join you. Thank you all for your continued prayer and support. I am trusting that God will provide all of the financial aspects of this, and am praying that He expands my capacity for ministry and all that He has called me to.

God is faithful. Amen.

Where's the Balance?

So, I woke up this morning realizing I was in despair over my different callings in life. I know that God has a dual calling on my life in the marketplace and in missions, and today I realized that having one foot in each camp is not fun. Some people think that's great (and in many ways it is), but I'm left trying to figure out where the balance is in it all.

At the beginning of 2010, I had such peace from the Lord on pursuing photography on a deeper level, including launching my own website and freelance business (Tischhaus Photo). The website is scheduled to go online late next week, and I already have various photo shoots scheduled for the next couple months (weather permitting). I have had so much peace about this, and yet, today I have despair over it.

For my second calling, I know, is in missions. I have had such a deep love for missions work, starting at 16 when I had the opportunity to go to Indonesia and work in a youth camp there. From that moment on, I knew that my heart was made for this. When I was 19, I went to Poland to help some summer schools for children, and some after-school Christian gatherings, and I fell in love with them. Now I find myself, nearing 22 years old, longing once again for foreign shores and people in need. Away from all of the technology, comfortable living, and things I'm so used to taking advantage of. And so that brings me to my dilemna...

Do I throw away all of my plans, trash it all to the wind and put myself at His feet? These wonderful plans of building a business and being responsible and pursuing photography sound so great, but if they hinder my other calling, do I even want them? Wouldn't I rather be in a hut in Africa, helping the children in need? Or do I throw away my inner desire for missions, pursuing a life of responsible living and steady income, schedules and plans? Yet I know within me is the desire to do both. And I also know that God has put both of these desires in me as well. So, rather the question is, how do I pursue both at the same time? Where is the balance?

I had a dream last night that I was in every season of the year at once. It was so tranquil and full of peace - it wasn't chaotic at all. And when I woke up this morning, I felt an innate desire to go to Haiti. Until this morning, I didn't really feel like I was supposed to go to Haiti at all, having my eyes set pursuing business ventures and photography. But now I really feel like I am supposed to go. But I guess I just don't know how to operate in two modes at once. I have a business mindset on one hand, and on the other I want to throw everything into the wind and just trust God for everything. Yet I know that both can cooperate with eachother and it can be done, I just haven't figured it all out yet. How do I allocate funds for missions when I barely have enough to start a business?

Anyways, I guess this just all needs much prayer and a deeper pursuit of God, stepping further into humility and trusting fully in Him. I really would love to go to Haiti and be a part of the relief efforts there, and I would also really love to capture the relief efforts in photography. I just need to trust God that the finances will come in for it and that He will work all of this out.