Eternity's Start

But that's just it. Eternity doesn't start or have a beginning, nor does it have a stop or an end to it. Eternity is timeless, it doesn't span even more than the width of a trillisecond, nor does it span less than the width of one googolplex years. We have no way to measure it, because our body, mind and soul are all trapped within time. We have no possible way of imagining life outside of time. Eternity is forever and nothing.

Five months and three days ago I made the decision to move from one geographic place to another, and it has been the best thing I've ever done with my life to date (but that's not saying much since I'm only pushing twenty). On February 3rd, it will have marked six months. I've taken a Nazarite vow since I moved out here to Kansas City and have grown my hair out long until then. I found that I like my hair long though, so although I'm getting it cut, I'm mostly just going to get it cut properly so that it can continue to grow out long.

What have I learned the past five+ months? I've learned that when I thought I found the topmost height in God's love, there were still more steps to take, and still thousands of more peaks above me. I've learned that when I thought I found the deepest ocean-bed of God's love, I still had to dig deeper than even that. I've learned that earthly love and relationships, though enticing, are no match whatsoever to what Jesus provides. I've learned that though I've been single all my life and hated it, I can now be single and enjoy it, for however long God calls me to do it. I've learned to play the guitar and am still learning (this makes me happy). I've learned how to make friends. I've learned how to live on my own and with roommates. I've learned how to be responsible for myself. I've learned how to intercede. I've learned how to fast and not ruin my body by doing so. I've learned to eat more responsibly. I've learned that sitting in a pretty prayer room and listening to good music is not what I'm doing, but that I actually have one of the most difficult and yet most powerful jobs in the world. I've learned how to live simply, giving away my money/time/resources without a second thought. I've learned that I have a duty to pray for God's mercy and judgment to pass. I've learned that I don't have a choice anymore, God's will must manifest itself inside of me in order for me to believe that He can do what He's going to do in the days to come. But most importantly, I've learned how to pray.

I only look forward now to what God has for me in Phase Two of this never-ending transformation process. I feel like I've been drinking milk (very potent milk), and now God is opening the door for food. Wheat. Vegetables. Fruit. Meat. Tasty, juicy meat. God is about to unleash even newer levels of every part of Him upon me, and I hope I'm prepared for it. God only knows what I'm going to go through in this next six months.

The season of Trust is past,
Are you ready for the fast?
The next renewal is here,
In whom will you put your fear?
There's nowhere else to turn,
That means it's time to Burn.